Adults constantly complain about "the kids and their phones" when, in reality, the adults are just as bad, if not worse. And, honestly, a sixteen-year-old kid on their phone is a sixteen-year-old kid. I have more patience and forgiveness as they are still learning how to navigate the world. A 45-year-old adult should have better sense and social etiquette and know when it is appropriate and when it isn't.
My wife and I often comment on how many people in a restaurant or a bar sit at tables not talking to one another and glued to their phones. Or, in the company of several, whilst a conversation is in full flow, one or two have their phones out and are scrolling. How fucking rude is that? And lastly, the sea of phones at a concert is so annoying and disrespectful. You have paid to watch an artist perform, and during their show, you are choosing to check your Instagram, text, or watch the gig through your phone and don't care about the light pollution you are causing to those around or behind you!? WTF? I don't get it.
Thank you, Michael! Absolutely. Most of these “loudspeaker offenders” are adults, way in their 40s, 50s or 60s. It’s shameful. And totally agree that the flurry of phones at concerts is regrettable, pathetic and extremely selfish. It’s one thing to take one or two photos, record a short clip; we can all tolerate a bit of (silent!) phone usage. But as soon as the artist comes out, everybody pulls out their phones like guns 😅😅😭😭 I seriously wonder what’s wrong with some people sometimes.
Yes! The concert thing drives me crazy. And I cannot get over the irony of the fact that for most of my life I was barred from bringing any kind of recording device into a concert - and these days you can't even get IN to most concerts without your phone because the tickets have all gone digital.
If I sound like a grumpy old man, well. . . you kids get off my lawn!
Appreciate this! I think about this a lot. I have friends and acquaintances who catalog their entire lives on social media, not living in the moment. I'm no hypocrite: I've done it, too. But especially since the pandemic, I've been all in on living in the moment, which means less phone time. I'm better for it.
Thank you, Matt! I hear you. I’ve been using social media increasingly less and less in the last 3 years or so. I just can’t be arsed most of the time. It’s so fake. I find that the happiest and most fulfilling my life is, the less I need to show it. Thanks for reading and commenting!
I couldn’t agree more. I completely stepped away from social media during the pandemic, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The time I got back—and how I’ve been able to use it for things far more fulfilling than endless doomscrolling—has been a game-changer.
This is definitely one of my pet peeves. The ubiquity of mobile phones and a corresponding decline in public common courtesy and decency has produced what seems to have become generally accepted atrocious behavior.
One thing I truly don’t understand is the people walking along, holding their phone in front of their mouth and talking to someone while they are on speakerphone! I mean it’s a handset that has an integrated speaker, a speaker that is literally designed to be held up to the ear so you don’t have to disturb others with your conversation. WTAF?!?
When I was in London a couple weeks ago I considered going into a cinema to watch a movie. But after googling and reading reviews of different cinemas, I decided not to go. My limited research suggested an epidemic of people sitting in the cinema talking to each other, talking on their phones, or just scrolling through reels. In the middle of the movie? How fucking selfish, entitled and rude do you have to be to do that?!?
Thank you, Mark! You hit the nail right on the head. Spot on. That pesky habit of holding the device near your mouth also irritates the fuck out of me 😂😂 As the former senior partner of my office used to say “you can’t legislate against stupidity” 🤣
I haven’t been to the cinema in many years, precisely for that very same reason. I would get really angry and smash a phone or two 😅
I blame it all on covid and lockdowns and zoom calls. Some people forgot how to live in society and got way too comfortable behaving like the world is their living own room, but I’m sure there are other factors at play, as not everyone who spent a lot of time on videocalls during lockdown does this. But that’s when things like education, manners, spatial awareness and consideration for others come into play.
I'd be all for cell phones if they made people happier, more fulfilled, more connected, less anxious, but the evidence showing an exponential correlation to the opposite is staggering.
A good rant, thank you. I truly can't understand people using Bluetooth speakers or playing their phones out loud on the train. Maybe I should buy a gross of cheap headphones and toss them in their laps as I leave the car...
I love this! I mean, I'm definitely guilty of having a compulsive attachment to my phone, but I certainly don't do video calls or even answer the phone in public.
I have a friend group meet-up every Sunday at a local brewery, which is less attended during the winter, so the past 3-4 Sundays it's just been me and one other friend - who routinely pulls out her phone and starts playing a game! The Sunday meet-up for me is all about being social - my phone stays in my pocket unless I get a message from one of my kids. Another one in our group hasn't been there because he's "trying to be good" prior to doctor appointments. I begged him to go do his labwork on Saturday so he could join us today. He is also one who leaves his phone in his pocket during our meet-ups. Most of our group does. These days, I look forward to the meet-ups as an excuse to put my phone away for a while!
This week, I plan on putting together the stand I bought for my record player and making a home for it in the living room.
Thank you, Kristin! I think we’re all “guilty” of having an above average reliance on our phones (although I think there’s a big difference between using it for productive tasks versus watching reels compulsively).
What I don’t tolerate is the whole loudspeaker in public epidemic, and I agree with you I don’t even answer in public (if I feel it cannot wait, I step outside of the restaurant/bar/wherever I may be).
Nice tradition you’ve got with your friends! Crazy that one of them plays games on her phone 🤣 Why bother? 😅
Well said. But vinyl is by no means a perfect solution. You can listen to a vinyl record and still be distracted with a smartphone, laptop, TV, etc. In the end, it's all about your self-control and willingness to actively listen to music. If you take time to unplug and enjoy the moment without distractions, you can do that with any format (CD, vinyl, mp3, cassette...)
Thank you, Will! You’ve got a point because essentially it comes down to a question of intentionality. Vinyl works best for me because of the mechanical process and ritual of choosing a record, taking it out of its sleeve, admiring the artwork, opening the dust cover, placing it on the platter, lifting the tonearm, dropping the needle… but of course, this doesn’t mean it’s the only way.
Completely agree. The ritual of playing a record certainly helps. It's also my preferred format for music at home. When I'm on a walk outside I like to bring my old mp3 player which has no wifi. So no notifications/distractions. Just leave the cell phone at home and enjoy the music.
Thank you for your comment. That’s a good point but bluetooh earbuds come in all shapes and prices these days. People have become more selfish, more entitled and less able to follow basic rules of courtesy in society. I blame covid lockdowns and the working from home mania.
I think you are on to something. Since we have emerged from lockdowns, I took have noticed an all round decline in manners and etiquette when in social situations. And not all of it is about obnoxious phone use.
Absolutely. I’m not saying it’s the only factor, but it’s certainly contributed to it. I agree with you it’s not just confined to phone use. Some people have forgotten how to behave in society.
Pissing in the wind my friend so keep up the flow and maybe you'll break through to the other side... damn I sold my mono Doors LP one of the first two I bought as a kid. The other was Disraeli Gears by Cream... but I just got my slightly used Big Mama Thornton ($20 Big Henry's) and my brand-new Jim Lauderdale "...Carolina" w/ bonus 7" Live $15 Bandcamp (Yep Roc) to keep me warm this Friday's EOW night spin. My spin is to buy music in any format so that you cherish and savor it. But vinyl is by far the best way. Thanks! Streaming is good to sample music but buying is the only way to truly enjoy it. My service is soundcloud.com/stevegabe but DM me to buy. My motto is "No Spotify. No problem." Also, Liz Palley's book Mood Machine tells all about the Spotify scam and what can we do? What you said.
Lol fair enough 🤣 I should let you know I have a powerful stream though 😅
Great choices going on over there! You’re in great company.
I completely agree with you that buying music takes the enjoyment to a whole new level, and that very few things in this musical world beat the magic of a good vinyl record.
Adults constantly complain about "the kids and their phones" when, in reality, the adults are just as bad, if not worse. And, honestly, a sixteen-year-old kid on their phone is a sixteen-year-old kid. I have more patience and forgiveness as they are still learning how to navigate the world. A 45-year-old adult should have better sense and social etiquette and know when it is appropriate and when it isn't.
My wife and I often comment on how many people in a restaurant or a bar sit at tables not talking to one another and glued to their phones. Or, in the company of several, whilst a conversation is in full flow, one or two have their phones out and are scrolling. How fucking rude is that? And lastly, the sea of phones at a concert is so annoying and disrespectful. You have paid to watch an artist perform, and during their show, you are choosing to check your Instagram, text, or watch the gig through your phone and don't care about the light pollution you are causing to those around or behind you!? WTF? I don't get it.
Thank you, Michael! Absolutely. Most of these “loudspeaker offenders” are adults, way in their 40s, 50s or 60s. It’s shameful. And totally agree that the flurry of phones at concerts is regrettable, pathetic and extremely selfish. It’s one thing to take one or two photos, record a short clip; we can all tolerate a bit of (silent!) phone usage. But as soon as the artist comes out, everybody pulls out their phones like guns 😅😅😭😭 I seriously wonder what’s wrong with some people sometimes.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Yes! The concert thing drives me crazy. And I cannot get over the irony of the fact that for most of my life I was barred from bringing any kind of recording device into a concert - and these days you can't even get IN to most concerts without your phone because the tickets have all gone digital.
If I sound like a grumpy old man, well. . . you kids get off my lawn!
I am with you, 100%. Thank you, Hugh!
Appreciate this! I think about this a lot. I have friends and acquaintances who catalog their entire lives on social media, not living in the moment. I'm no hypocrite: I've done it, too. But especially since the pandemic, I've been all in on living in the moment, which means less phone time. I'm better for it.
Thank you, Matt! I hear you. I’ve been using social media increasingly less and less in the last 3 years or so. I just can’t be arsed most of the time. It’s so fake. I find that the happiest and most fulfilling my life is, the less I need to show it. Thanks for reading and commenting!
I couldn’t agree more. I completely stepped away from social media during the pandemic, and it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The time I got back—and how I’ve been able to use it for things far more fulfilling than endless doomscrolling—has been a game-changer.
A reset like the one you describe can do wonders and is such an underrated health hack. Well done, Pe!
bad day on the tube, my friend?😎
Weekend crowds. You know me so well it's scary 😂
Thank you for saying this out loud. It is annoying and also very sad.
Thank you, Judy, for reading and for sharing the sentiment!
Main character syndrome is real. If you use your phone/tablet on a flight and you don't have headphones, you should be put on the no-fly list.
Couldn’t agree more! I love that - “main character syndrome”. Thanks, Jeff!
This is definitely one of my pet peeves. The ubiquity of mobile phones and a corresponding decline in public common courtesy and decency has produced what seems to have become generally accepted atrocious behavior.
One thing I truly don’t understand is the people walking along, holding their phone in front of their mouth and talking to someone while they are on speakerphone! I mean it’s a handset that has an integrated speaker, a speaker that is literally designed to be held up to the ear so you don’t have to disturb others with your conversation. WTAF?!?
When I was in London a couple weeks ago I considered going into a cinema to watch a movie. But after googling and reading reviews of different cinemas, I decided not to go. My limited research suggested an epidemic of people sitting in the cinema talking to each other, talking on their phones, or just scrolling through reels. In the middle of the movie? How fucking selfish, entitled and rude do you have to be to do that?!?
Thank you, Mark! You hit the nail right on the head. Spot on. That pesky habit of holding the device near your mouth also irritates the fuck out of me 😂😂 As the former senior partner of my office used to say “you can’t legislate against stupidity” 🤣
I haven’t been to the cinema in many years, precisely for that very same reason. I would get really angry and smash a phone or two 😅
I blame it all on covid and lockdowns and zoom calls. Some people forgot how to live in society and got way too comfortable behaving like the world is their living own room, but I’m sure there are other factors at play, as not everyone who spent a lot of time on videocalls during lockdown does this. But that’s when things like education, manners, spatial awareness and consideration for others come into play.
Thanks again for reading and commenting!
I'd be all for cell phones if they made people happier, more fulfilled, more connected, less anxious, but the evidence showing an exponential correlation to the opposite is staggering.
Sad but true. I also think they make certain people selfish and rude. The anxiety point you mention is spot on.
A good rant, thank you. I truly can't understand people using Bluetooth speakers or playing their phones out loud on the train. Maybe I should buy a gross of cheap headphones and toss them in their laps as I leave the car...
Thank you, Jeremy! What a great idea. And a slap in the face while we’re at it 😂
Ya lo decía Charly:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DGF76iCRtAh/?igsh=ZXRjNGlqeGk2N3hv
Totalmente! Qué genio. Estoy tannn de acuerdo.
Brilliant. Could not agree more. I have a companion piece coming out this Wednesday about the need for 12-step programs for smartphones..
Thank you, John! Great minds think alike 😉 Looking forward to your post!
I love this! I mean, I'm definitely guilty of having a compulsive attachment to my phone, but I certainly don't do video calls or even answer the phone in public.
I have a friend group meet-up every Sunday at a local brewery, which is less attended during the winter, so the past 3-4 Sundays it's just been me and one other friend - who routinely pulls out her phone and starts playing a game! The Sunday meet-up for me is all about being social - my phone stays in my pocket unless I get a message from one of my kids. Another one in our group hasn't been there because he's "trying to be good" prior to doctor appointments. I begged him to go do his labwork on Saturday so he could join us today. He is also one who leaves his phone in his pocket during our meet-ups. Most of our group does. These days, I look forward to the meet-ups as an excuse to put my phone away for a while!
This week, I plan on putting together the stand I bought for my record player and making a home for it in the living room.
Thank you, Kristin! I think we’re all “guilty” of having an above average reliance on our phones (although I think there’s a big difference between using it for productive tasks versus watching reels compulsively).
What I don’t tolerate is the whole loudspeaker in public epidemic, and I agree with you I don’t even answer in public (if I feel it cannot wait, I step outside of the restaurant/bar/wherever I may be).
Nice tradition you’ve got with your friends! Crazy that one of them plays games on her phone 🤣 Why bother? 😅
Hope your no-phone friend can join again soon!
Thanks again for reading and commenting!
Could not have put it better!
Cheers, Dave!
Well said. But vinyl is by no means a perfect solution. You can listen to a vinyl record and still be distracted with a smartphone, laptop, TV, etc. In the end, it's all about your self-control and willingness to actively listen to music. If you take time to unplug and enjoy the moment without distractions, you can do that with any format (CD, vinyl, mp3, cassette...)
Thank you, Will! You’ve got a point because essentially it comes down to a question of intentionality. Vinyl works best for me because of the mechanical process and ritual of choosing a record, taking it out of its sleeve, admiring the artwork, opening the dust cover, placing it on the platter, lifting the tonearm, dropping the needle… but of course, this doesn’t mean it’s the only way.
Completely agree. The ritual of playing a record certainly helps. It's also my preferred format for music at home. When I'm on a walk outside I like to bring my old mp3 player which has no wifi. So no notifications/distractions. Just leave the cell phone at home and enjoy the music.
That “wifi avoiding” hack is such a good idea!
I think that the problem of loud phone usage in public has gotten worse as phone makers have done away with headphone jacks on newer models.
Thank you for your comment. That’s a good point but bluetooh earbuds come in all shapes and prices these days. People have become more selfish, more entitled and less able to follow basic rules of courtesy in society. I blame covid lockdowns and the working from home mania.
I think you are on to something. Since we have emerged from lockdowns, I took have noticed an all round decline in manners and etiquette when in social situations. And not all of it is about obnoxious phone use.
Absolutely. I’m not saying it’s the only factor, but it’s certainly contributed to it. I agree with you it’s not just confined to phone use. Some people have forgotten how to behave in society.
Allow me to share an adjacent allegory in which vinyl provides a critical refuge from modern digital dystopia:
https://open.substack.com/pub/crumblingcolumn/p/bad-news-is-a-good-song?r=muw4l&utm_medium=ios
Brilliant piece. Thanks for sharing!
Pissing in the wind my friend so keep up the flow and maybe you'll break through to the other side... damn I sold my mono Doors LP one of the first two I bought as a kid. The other was Disraeli Gears by Cream... but I just got my slightly used Big Mama Thornton ($20 Big Henry's) and my brand-new Jim Lauderdale "...Carolina" w/ bonus 7" Live $15 Bandcamp (Yep Roc) to keep me warm this Friday's EOW night spin. My spin is to buy music in any format so that you cherish and savor it. But vinyl is by far the best way. Thanks! Streaming is good to sample music but buying is the only way to truly enjoy it. My service is soundcloud.com/stevegabe but DM me to buy. My motto is "No Spotify. No problem." Also, Liz Palley's book Mood Machine tells all about the Spotify scam and what can we do? What you said.
Lol fair enough 🤣 I should let you know I have a powerful stream though 😅
Great choices going on over there! You’re in great company.
I completely agree with you that buying music takes the enjoyment to a whole new level, and that very few things in this musical world beat the magic of a good vinyl record.
I love your motto! And thanks for the link!