Vinyl Surprise!

Want to impress (or prank) the vinyl lover in your life this Christmas? Say no more...

Clearly, Heart was a theme here! Source: https://www.freestyle-vinyl.com/products/custom-jackets

Ever listened to a playlist or mixtape and thought "I wish I could have this on vinyl”? Perhaps you and your significant other have a special song (or two) and you’d like to surprise them with a gift they will never forget…

Ladies and gentlemen (and everyone and everything in between), look no further than this: a custom-made vinyl record!

My friend

Brad Kyle

from the brilliant

Front Row & Backstage

brought this innovative gift idea to my attention, so if you will excuse me, here goes a very Christmassy Santa hat tip to him:

And an “American” cookie as well!

Perhaps I should clarify at this stage that neither Brad nor I have any kind of affiliation or connection with the company in question, so we accept no liability whatsoever for any error, omission, malfunction, dissatisfaction or frustration with the final product. You will have to take it up with the company directly, and/or with the significant other who decided you really needed to hear “Can’t Help Falling in Love” one more time.

Now with the necessary disclaimers out of the way, let’s take a look at some of the options available.

12” records

You can create your own album, so to speak, with five tracks per side (the average length, give or take, of a standard LP).

Apparently, you need not worry about having the audio files available: simply fill in the blanks with the artist and song title of your choice for each track, and the company will sort out everything for you.

The exact source of the audio remains a mystery: they claim they don’t rely on streaming platforms, but they also admit to using MP3 files, which I’m sure will raise an eyebrow or two in the audiophile community.

“Can I speak to the audio engineer?”

To keep the conversation away from the sound quality of your gift, don’t forget you can customise the jacket as well, or leave it blank for your own personal drawing (if so inclined).

Some photoshoots were truly made for a gatefold album jacket! Source: https://www.freestyle-vinyl.com/products/custom-jackets

10“ picture discs

Want to immortalise your favourite picture of you and your other half? You know, that photo from your honeymoon on the beach, where you both looked tanned, hot, kissed by the sunset glow, and above all, still young (i.e. before the kids arrived to wipe off any notion —past, present or future— of good quality sleep).

If you’d like something a bit more humorous (I can see my subscribers this side of the pond already grinning), you can choose the most ridiculous photo of your significant other… or, if you’re brave, that hideous picture of the two of you, right after an argument, when you were trying to “make the most” of your 7-day stay at the Holiday Inn in Blackpool, plagued with stormy gusts of wind, lukewarm tea and horizontal rain.

No palm trees in England, I’m afraid… but the wind can feel a lot like this!

You can also upload/choose your tracks, of course, and here I would advise you to go as cheesy as you possibly can, for that extra adrenaline rush when the stylus hits the record!

(This reminds me of when my husband got me —as a joke— this record for Valentine’s Day, knowing full well how highly I esteem the band in question…. *wink wink*).

7” singles

Choose two songs (A and B sides, if you will) not exceeding 6 minutes each and, provided you’ve got the audio files, you can get your own 7” in the mail.

Here’s where you want to be extra careful with your choices, as you’ll only get one shot (potentially two) at surprising your loved one.

Make sure the speed of your turntable is adjusted to 45 RPM, but if you have taken the prankster approach, I would actually encourage you to leave it at 33 RPM… you can thank me later.

Now seriously, what are you waiting for? Dust off those questionable tunes and hideous pictures from your archives, and let the vinyl fun begin!

Happy spinning (and pranking!)