Thank you for sharing, Andres. This is a tough read. I can feel in every sentence that your visit with your mum was deeply emotional and a sad confirmation of her weakening state. After such an emotionally exhausting visit, it was no doubt cathartic to write this and hit post.
Living thousands of miles away also takes a toll on one's mind. My parents also recently visited at the end of January (they live in upstate New York). While they are still sharp at 81 and 79, I definitely noticed more physical frailties. Because I live 3000 miles away, the inevitable weighs on my mind. Take solace knowing that those thirteen days meant so much to your mum, even on that grey rainy day when she was coloring mandalas and playing games in your flat. There's no other place she would have wanted to be. Just spending time with you, your sister, and both partners was deeply meaningful to her. And you are right. She will always be by your side, walking with you. ❤️
PS: I am not familiar with JP's album, but I like the song and have queued it up to spin on my commute to work.
Thank you so much, Michael. It was indeed cathartic and therapeutic to write this. I hear you regarding the distance. One tries not to worry too much but as you well know it's a fine balancing act. All my positive energy for you and your parents.
Thank you so much for your kind and comforting words. They went straight to my heart. And I hope you enjoy JP's album! Thank you for being here.
Incredible writing Andy. I was very moved by this. My heart goes out to you. Dealing with our loved ones slipping away is always difficult. I am so glad you had this amazing visit with her. You accomplished so much. I have been to all those places except the museums, so I can picture you all venturing around, with you playing tour guide. Sending a big hug.
Thank you so much, Taz. Her visit was indeed a breath of fresh air which gave us all some strength to face what will inevitably come. Thank you so much for being here. I'm really glad and honoured to hear it's resonated with you.
PS: I'm not a fan of museums 😁 but the fam wanted to go 🤷🏼♂️ (they've been several times, but oh well 😂). Thanks again!
No pithy advice or "actionable" takeaways from me. I wish I had some, but after seeing it demolish both of my grandmothers, all I've got is that dementia is one of the cruelest fates going, and is incredibly tough to deal with. Hang in there, man!
This one really hit me hard, Andy. You know from our conversation why your earlier message about your mum’s visit touched me so deeply. You’re a very good writer — almost too good, in fact — because I felt everything you described.
That’s what great writing does: it takes you along for the journey and connects with your own life and experiences until it becomes almost personal. I have tears in my eyes as I write this.
Anyway, just like I told you before, this visit is — and was — pure gold. These are the moments you’ll hold on to, and they’ll be there for you when you need them most. Thanks for sharing this, Andy.
Thank you so much, Pe. Thank you also for upgrading. It's a real honour because you know how much I admire and respect you and your work. I'm full of gratitude -- for real. What you went through with your mum is heartbreaking. Your strength is admirable.
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I hope this piece somehow helped you process some of your own wounds too. Next one is going to be more light-hearted than this, I promise! 😂 Thanks again!!
This was such a great piece! I could feel all that emotion and have a good understanding of it. Your mom definitely looks so young to be dealing with all of this!! She’s beautiful. I love that you shared pics! Especially love the pic from 2014! Such a great example of the relationship you two have!
I have been going through a lot with my mom, so absolutely understand watching the decline and all of those emotions that come along with it. I gave spent a good chunk of time over the past year doing a lot of caretaking for my mom. It’s so hard.
I had never heard of JP Cooper, but went and listened to an acoustic version of Under Grey Skies and it’s pretty incredible! The video you linked (The Church) is not available to watch in the US 😢 and I searched the title on YouTube- not to be found. But, I did listen to a few others and wow! Going to be listening to more of his stuff.
Thank you so much, Kristin, for your kind words. I know you've been going through a rough period with your mum. I am sending her and you all of my positive energy. You're a fighter, that's for sure, so I am sure she is one as well 😊
Such a shame the Live at the Church vid is not available in the US! Thanks for the heads-up. I'm glad you found that acoustic version though (I think I know which one you mean -- him with just guitar?). To be honest, the album version is excellent too, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the record! He's got some up-tempo stuff too -- a nice variety in there. Very soulful. Thanks for being here!!
This is really beautifully written and very, very moving. I have such fond memories of the time we spent with your mother - my mother-in-law - and your sister and her husband in January. She showed so much strength and seemed to truly enjoy her time in London and with us. At the same time, it was heartbreaking to see how much more she relied on your and your family's help. Through my personal experience with my own parents, I can only confirm that those special moments we shared are those that forever stay with us, and that nothing can take away. By spending time with those we love, we write stories that will create some of our most valuable and cherished memories. And those memories are also something we cannot touch but only feel.
Thank you so much ♥️ I also feel we made the most of their visit and the time we shared. I agree it was reassuring to see her so strong and resilient, yet heartbreaking to notice how much help she needs. Thanks again for all your help, support, patience, wisdom, and love. I love you more than wods can say ♥️♥️♥️
Andres, you say you are not a natural writer, but that was never apparent to me, especially not in this piece. I think you know this, but my aunt, who was like a 2nd mom to me growing up, has advanced dementia and I've been managing her affairs and all aspects of her life since 2020. She had mild-moderate dementia back in 2020, but she lived alone, so I hired a live-in caregiver (this was in the heart of COVID and before vaccines).
Anyway, what I've noticed about dementia is how different it can be for each person who has it and for the families affected by it. It sounds like you have a supportive extended family in Argentina, so that is a huge benefit for her. I don't know what the medical system is like there, but hopefully she has a geriatric doctor she and your family like who can manage the medical side of things.
I have read a ton of articles and essays on dementia and am part of an online support group. I find the medical system in the U.S. doesn't know what to do with dementia, as it's all about "treatment," not care or preventative care. I find the system here more of a health don't care system.
I think writing about it (like you are here), processing it with your friends, maybe finding a support group in your area, all of these can be super helpful.
And I am always available to chat about any of this.
Beautiful writing, Andy. Thanks for sharing your family with us. As you know, I'm all about the TMI (except it's never too much).
Thank you so much, Steve, for your kind words and such a heartfelt comment. About the writing, it’s definitely not my comfort zone — I invariably have to wrestle with text until I get it right. I know we all go through that process from time to time, but I always feel my writing skills are so inferior to, say, my acting, singing or language skills. Thanks so much for the encouragement.
Yes, I was aware of your aunt’s situation, but thanks for sharing in more detail. I am sending her, you, and all the family lots of hugs and positive energy.
Thank you for the tips, especially considering your experience, and above all, thanks so much for being here. Always there for you too 🙌🏻
I am doubly impressed because I know English isn’t your native language. I can’t even fathom writing in another language even at a pre-school level, let alone for deeply personal stories.
So beautifully conceived and delivered, Andy. Your VO is so touching and is such a wonderful accompaniment to your well-written account of her visit, as well as her struggles. So much of this hits home....yes, because of my mom's wrestling with Alzheimer's and dementia from about 2012-17, before her passing on Christmas Eve '17 (at 89).
But, also because I'm creeping up to the age she was at when this all befell her. In 5 weeks, I'll hit the big 7-1. She was 71 in 1998, and was still very vital and clear-thinking and still was running her entertainment booking agency! So, I'm kinda tracking my life with hers to a degree, even though I realize we men live far shorter lives than the ladies!
But, I've inherited a number of her aging maladies also (high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes....normal stuff that can be controlled with meds....so I often say "I'm turning into my mom"! Which makes that whole Alz/Dementia thing creep from back of mind to closer to the front as birthdays come and go!
The good news is I found a well-run and caring Assisted Living facility for her final half-dozen years, and it was close enough for me to visit about 3-4 times a week. I got to know staff quite well (and they, me, so they knew I could be walking 'round the corner on any given day, so they knew to make sure they were more than adequately attentive to Ms. Dusty)!! Plus, I'd take her out to dinner a couple times a month, and we were even allowed a go on nearby short hotel weekend stays, as long as I didn't have her away from the facility over "3 midnights" (U.S. Medicare rules, lest she lose coverage)!
I think you've heard me tell the story of how the entertainment director (who had seen me a few times at local karaoke bars) asked me to entertain the residents! I bought a home karaoke machine and a handful of CD-Gs, and starting in about 2015 (and beginning monthly at Mom's home), built a 5-year post-retirement career "doing the circuit" of a couple different nursing home franchises anywhere from 2-5 times a month (at $75 bucks an hour, thankyouverymuch)!!! What a thrill to sing Sinatra, Bennett, and other "her era" favorites to her, live and in person!!
I echo some of our other friends here when we realize it'll be tough from several thousand miles away, Boobie, and I was certainly fortunate to be able to be with Mom a lot in her final years and days. In fact, when called to her facility that Christmas Eve '17, they let me take her colorful Christmas lights-decorated blanket (she had over her in bed) with me....I still use it today to keep me warm, nights.
All this to say, Andy, I'm here if you need me, and if you ever want to talk, vent, celebrate, or share loving memories, etc. I plan on being here a while.
Thank you so much, Brad! I'm really glad you enjoyed the post and the VO (special thanks for listening). I was pretty much breaking down towards the end, heart racing, voice about to break, but it was healing to do this.
I figured this would resonate with you given what you've been through with your mum. You handled that situation so well. I have no doubt she's felt -- she can still feel -- all your love.
Such an astute, clever, and wonderful idea you had to sing at her and other assisted care facilities.
The story with the blanket is particularly touching. Thank you for sharing and opening up. It means a lot to me.
I would be willing and ready to bet my entire vinyl collection on the fact you won't get dementia. So long as you keep flexing those incredibly strong mind muscles of yours, you've got nothing to worry about!
Thanks again, so so so so very much, for your friendship and support 🙌🏻
Your "entire vinyl collection".....that's sweet. I'll take you up on that! As long as we can churn out a 2,000-worder within 24 hours, we'll be good, and I'll be happy to dub you my first "care-giver"!!!🎵💘🤗
Thanks for sharing this story Andy. It's hard to watch our parents age and experience failing health. I'm sure it's especially hard because she lives so far from you. At least you were able to offer her a wonderful and enriching time in London. I'm sure she really appreciated it.
Thank you so much, Dan. It's really hard, and distance doesn't make it easier, but as you say, we really enjoyed our time together. She came back with renewed energy. Let's hope it lasts 🙌🏻 Thank you for being here!
Andres, this is loving and touching. None of us are never ready, but the fact that you are serving as the keeper of your mother's memories is proof you will rise to every difficult moment. And a great son. And you will want those documented memories for yourself, too, for short, dark days, be they real or metaphorical. None of this is easy or easy to share, but thank you for doing so and make the most of every moment with her.
Thank you so much, Emm, for your very sweet and thoughtful comment. Your words have given me a lot of strength. So true what you say about the importance of documenting those moments. Thanks again for your support! 💪🏻
Wow Andy, thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing about your mum’s visit. I’m looking forward to reading more in this series, not for any sort of voyeuristic reasons, but because I’m looking forward to getting to know you better through this sort of intimate writing.
Given your mother’s challenges, it was amazing to read/hear how much you all managed to squeeze in over thirteen days. The pictures were lovely and she certainly seemed to be having a great time despite her pain.
As you know, my dad is no longer the same man he was even a few years ago. While he doesn’t have dementia (as far as we’re aware), he does get confused from time to time and conversations can become difficult. He’s also more unfiltered and not always very nice. Physically he is diminished and struggles to walk for any length of time. In his most recent visit it was very dispiriting to see his regression and what I’ve been trying to learn is acceptance and meeting him where he’s at (which can be really hard if he’s being an asshole). It’s almost like I’m the adult sometimes. I’m doing my best to extend grace and love to him. But sometimes it’s hard. By all accounts, you’re doing everything you can to enjoy quality time with your mum and I say grab it while you can.
I wasn’t familiar with JP Cooper but that song was lovely.
Thanks for trusting us enough to take is into some darker places. It’s very brave and inspirational.
Thank you so much! I am excited you are looking forward to reading more in the series. Some of these things are difficult to write about but the process is very therapeutic and healing.
I am also amazed by how much we managed to do in those 13 days 🤣 We took it easy, with breaks in-between, and took our time here and there, but still, it is remarkable she managed to tick off the main tourist boxes PLUS do some stuff off the beaten track (visit cafes, shops, and go for some walks that are not quintessentially "touristy" but I knew she would enjoy or needed to see).
Seeing our parents age is tough. I know being with your dad sometimes requires you to arm yourself with patience you didn't know you had. The fact he's not always very nice makes it even tougher so I don't envy your position. As our parents become older, they start behaving more and more like children, and the roles are reversed as we have to "keep them in check" 😂 I am sending you, your dad and all your family all my positive energy and good vibes 💪🏻
I'm glad you enjoyed the song! And thanks so much again for your kind words and for being here. Means a lot.
Ah Andy, touching and tears at the same time. From experience, the journey is different for everyone yet the same. Your mom is well loved and supported, as are you, so hold on to that.
Beautifully written, Andy. I understand some of what you're going through as my wife's memory has become progressively decimated with each of her strokes. I focus on "amor et hilaritus."
Thank you, Matt! I can only imagine. Lots of strength and positive vibes for her and you. I love the motto you focus on. Thanks so much for reading and for being here!
Thank you for sharing, Andres. This is a tough read. I can feel in every sentence that your visit with your mum was deeply emotional and a sad confirmation of her weakening state. After such an emotionally exhausting visit, it was no doubt cathartic to write this and hit post.
Living thousands of miles away also takes a toll on one's mind. My parents also recently visited at the end of January (they live in upstate New York). While they are still sharp at 81 and 79, I definitely noticed more physical frailties. Because I live 3000 miles away, the inevitable weighs on my mind. Take solace knowing that those thirteen days meant so much to your mum, even on that grey rainy day when she was coloring mandalas and playing games in your flat. There's no other place she would have wanted to be. Just spending time with you, your sister, and both partners was deeply meaningful to her. And you are right. She will always be by your side, walking with you. ❤️
PS: I am not familiar with JP's album, but I like the song and have queued it up to spin on my commute to work.
Thank you so much, Michael. It was indeed cathartic and therapeutic to write this. I hear you regarding the distance. One tries not to worry too much but as you well know it's a fine balancing act. All my positive energy for you and your parents.
Thank you so much for your kind and comforting words. They went straight to my heart. And I hope you enjoy JP's album! Thank you for being here.
Incredible writing Andy. I was very moved by this. My heart goes out to you. Dealing with our loved ones slipping away is always difficult. I am so glad you had this amazing visit with her. You accomplished so much. I have been to all those places except the museums, so I can picture you all venturing around, with you playing tour guide. Sending a big hug.
Thank you so much, Taz. Her visit was indeed a breath of fresh air which gave us all some strength to face what will inevitably come. Thank you so much for being here. I'm really glad and honoured to hear it's resonated with you.
PS: I'm not a fan of museums 😁 but the fam wanted to go 🤷🏼♂️ (they've been several times, but oh well 😂). Thanks again!
I like the Tower better :) love those ravens. And bookshops, London has the best bookstores.
No pithy advice or "actionable" takeaways from me. I wish I had some, but after seeing it demolish both of my grandmothers, all I've got is that dementia is one of the cruelest fates going, and is incredibly tough to deal with. Hang in there, man!
Thank you so much, and I hear you. It's such a cruel disease for patients and loved ones alike. Thank you so much for being here 💪🏻
This one really hit me hard, Andy. You know from our conversation why your earlier message about your mum’s visit touched me so deeply. You’re a very good writer — almost too good, in fact — because I felt everything you described.
That’s what great writing does: it takes you along for the journey and connects with your own life and experiences until it becomes almost personal. I have tears in my eyes as I write this.
Anyway, just like I told you before, this visit is — and was — pure gold. These are the moments you’ll hold on to, and they’ll be there for you when you need them most. Thanks for sharing this, Andy.
Thank you so much, Pe. Thank you also for upgrading. It's a real honour because you know how much I admire and respect you and your work. I'm full of gratitude -- for real. What you went through with your mum is heartbreaking. Your strength is admirable.
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I hope this piece somehow helped you process some of your own wounds too. Next one is going to be more light-hearted than this, I promise! 😂 Thanks again!!
The admiration & respect goes both ways Andy. Looking forward to the upcoming pieces!
Thank you ♥️♥️♥️
This was such a great piece! I could feel all that emotion and have a good understanding of it. Your mom definitely looks so young to be dealing with all of this!! She’s beautiful. I love that you shared pics! Especially love the pic from 2014! Such a great example of the relationship you two have!
I have been going through a lot with my mom, so absolutely understand watching the decline and all of those emotions that come along with it. I gave spent a good chunk of time over the past year doing a lot of caretaking for my mom. It’s so hard.
I had never heard of JP Cooper, but went and listened to an acoustic version of Under Grey Skies and it’s pretty incredible! The video you linked (The Church) is not available to watch in the US 😢 and I searched the title on YouTube- not to be found. But, I did listen to a few others and wow! Going to be listening to more of his stuff.
Thank you so much, Kristin, for your kind words. I know you've been going through a rough period with your mum. I am sending her and you all of my positive energy. You're a fighter, that's for sure, so I am sure she is one as well 😊
Such a shame the Live at the Church vid is not available in the US! Thanks for the heads-up. I'm glad you found that acoustic version though (I think I know which one you mean -- him with just guitar?). To be honest, the album version is excellent too, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the record! He's got some up-tempo stuff too -- a nice variety in there. Very soulful. Thanks for being here!!
This was such a touching, beautiful story, Andy. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much, Marty! I'm really glad it resonated with you.
This is really beautifully written and very, very moving. I have such fond memories of the time we spent with your mother - my mother-in-law - and your sister and her husband in January. She showed so much strength and seemed to truly enjoy her time in London and with us. At the same time, it was heartbreaking to see how much more she relied on your and your family's help. Through my personal experience with my own parents, I can only confirm that those special moments we shared are those that forever stay with us, and that nothing can take away. By spending time with those we love, we write stories that will create some of our most valuable and cherished memories. And those memories are also something we cannot touch but only feel.
Thank you so much ♥️ I also feel we made the most of their visit and the time we shared. I agree it was reassuring to see her so strong and resilient, yet heartbreaking to notice how much help she needs. Thanks again for all your help, support, patience, wisdom, and love. I love you more than wods can say ♥️♥️♥️
Andres, you say you are not a natural writer, but that was never apparent to me, especially not in this piece. I think you know this, but my aunt, who was like a 2nd mom to me growing up, has advanced dementia and I've been managing her affairs and all aspects of her life since 2020. She had mild-moderate dementia back in 2020, but she lived alone, so I hired a live-in caregiver (this was in the heart of COVID and before vaccines).
Anyway, what I've noticed about dementia is how different it can be for each person who has it and for the families affected by it. It sounds like you have a supportive extended family in Argentina, so that is a huge benefit for her. I don't know what the medical system is like there, but hopefully she has a geriatric doctor she and your family like who can manage the medical side of things.
I have read a ton of articles and essays on dementia and am part of an online support group. I find the medical system in the U.S. doesn't know what to do with dementia, as it's all about "treatment," not care or preventative care. I find the system here more of a health don't care system.
I think writing about it (like you are here), processing it with your friends, maybe finding a support group in your area, all of these can be super helpful.
And I am always available to chat about any of this.
Beautiful writing, Andy. Thanks for sharing your family with us. As you know, I'm all about the TMI (except it's never too much).
Thank you so much, Steve, for your kind words and such a heartfelt comment. About the writing, it’s definitely not my comfort zone — I invariably have to wrestle with text until I get it right. I know we all go through that process from time to time, but I always feel my writing skills are so inferior to, say, my acting, singing or language skills. Thanks so much for the encouragement.
Yes, I was aware of your aunt’s situation, but thanks for sharing in more detail. I am sending her, you, and all the family lots of hugs and positive energy.
Thank you for the tips, especially considering your experience, and above all, thanks so much for being here. Always there for you too 🙌🏻
I am doubly impressed because I know English isn’t your native language. I can’t even fathom writing in another language even at a pre-school level, let alone for deeply personal stories.
Thank you so much ♥️♥️♥️ You’ve made my day! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
So beautifully conceived and delivered, Andy. Your VO is so touching and is such a wonderful accompaniment to your well-written account of her visit, as well as her struggles. So much of this hits home....yes, because of my mom's wrestling with Alzheimer's and dementia from about 2012-17, before her passing on Christmas Eve '17 (at 89).
But, also because I'm creeping up to the age she was at when this all befell her. In 5 weeks, I'll hit the big 7-1. She was 71 in 1998, and was still very vital and clear-thinking and still was running her entertainment booking agency! So, I'm kinda tracking my life with hers to a degree, even though I realize we men live far shorter lives than the ladies!
But, I've inherited a number of her aging maladies also (high blood pressure, Type 2 diabetes....normal stuff that can be controlled with meds....so I often say "I'm turning into my mom"! Which makes that whole Alz/Dementia thing creep from back of mind to closer to the front as birthdays come and go!
The good news is I found a well-run and caring Assisted Living facility for her final half-dozen years, and it was close enough for me to visit about 3-4 times a week. I got to know staff quite well (and they, me, so they knew I could be walking 'round the corner on any given day, so they knew to make sure they were more than adequately attentive to Ms. Dusty)!! Plus, I'd take her out to dinner a couple times a month, and we were even allowed a go on nearby short hotel weekend stays, as long as I didn't have her away from the facility over "3 midnights" (U.S. Medicare rules, lest she lose coverage)!
I think you've heard me tell the story of how the entertainment director (who had seen me a few times at local karaoke bars) asked me to entertain the residents! I bought a home karaoke machine and a handful of CD-Gs, and starting in about 2015 (and beginning monthly at Mom's home), built a 5-year post-retirement career "doing the circuit" of a couple different nursing home franchises anywhere from 2-5 times a month (at $75 bucks an hour, thankyouverymuch)!!! What a thrill to sing Sinatra, Bennett, and other "her era" favorites to her, live and in person!!
I echo some of our other friends here when we realize it'll be tough from several thousand miles away, Boobie, and I was certainly fortunate to be able to be with Mom a lot in her final years and days. In fact, when called to her facility that Christmas Eve '17, they let me take her colorful Christmas lights-decorated blanket (she had over her in bed) with me....I still use it today to keep me warm, nights.
All this to say, Andy, I'm here if you need me, and if you ever want to talk, vent, celebrate, or share loving memories, etc. I plan on being here a while.
Thank you so much, Brad! I'm really glad you enjoyed the post and the VO (special thanks for listening). I was pretty much breaking down towards the end, heart racing, voice about to break, but it was healing to do this.
I figured this would resonate with you given what you've been through with your mum. You handled that situation so well. I have no doubt she's felt -- she can still feel -- all your love.
Such an astute, clever, and wonderful idea you had to sing at her and other assisted care facilities.
The story with the blanket is particularly touching. Thank you for sharing and opening up. It means a lot to me.
I would be willing and ready to bet my entire vinyl collection on the fact you won't get dementia. So long as you keep flexing those incredibly strong mind muscles of yours, you've got nothing to worry about!
Thanks again, so so so so very much, for your friendship and support 🙌🏻
Your "entire vinyl collection".....that's sweet. I'll take you up on that! As long as we can churn out a 2,000-worder within 24 hours, we'll be good, and I'll be happy to dub you my first "care-giver"!!!🎵💘🤗
I'll always, always, always be there for my Texan friend. Never forget this!
🙂🙏
Thanks for sharing this story Andy. It's hard to watch our parents age and experience failing health. I'm sure it's especially hard because she lives so far from you. At least you were able to offer her a wonderful and enriching time in London. I'm sure she really appreciated it.
Thank you so much, Dan. It's really hard, and distance doesn't make it easier, but as you say, we really enjoyed our time together. She came back with renewed energy. Let's hope it lasts 🙌🏻 Thank you for being here!
Andres, this is loving and touching. None of us are never ready, but the fact that you are serving as the keeper of your mother's memories is proof you will rise to every difficult moment. And a great son. And you will want those documented memories for yourself, too, for short, dark days, be they real or metaphorical. None of this is easy or easy to share, but thank you for doing so and make the most of every moment with her.
Thank you so much, Emm, for your very sweet and thoughtful comment. Your words have given me a lot of strength. So true what you say about the importance of documenting those moments. Thanks again for your support! 💪🏻
Wow Andy, thanks for being so vulnerable and sharing about your mum’s visit. I’m looking forward to reading more in this series, not for any sort of voyeuristic reasons, but because I’m looking forward to getting to know you better through this sort of intimate writing.
Given your mother’s challenges, it was amazing to read/hear how much you all managed to squeeze in over thirteen days. The pictures were lovely and she certainly seemed to be having a great time despite her pain.
As you know, my dad is no longer the same man he was even a few years ago. While he doesn’t have dementia (as far as we’re aware), he does get confused from time to time and conversations can become difficult. He’s also more unfiltered and not always very nice. Physically he is diminished and struggles to walk for any length of time. In his most recent visit it was very dispiriting to see his regression and what I’ve been trying to learn is acceptance and meeting him where he’s at (which can be really hard if he’s being an asshole). It’s almost like I’m the adult sometimes. I’m doing my best to extend grace and love to him. But sometimes it’s hard. By all accounts, you’re doing everything you can to enjoy quality time with your mum and I say grab it while you can.
I wasn’t familiar with JP Cooper but that song was lovely.
Thanks for trusting us enough to take is into some darker places. It’s very brave and inspirational.
Thank you so much! I am excited you are looking forward to reading more in the series. Some of these things are difficult to write about but the process is very therapeutic and healing.
I am also amazed by how much we managed to do in those 13 days 🤣 We took it easy, with breaks in-between, and took our time here and there, but still, it is remarkable she managed to tick off the main tourist boxes PLUS do some stuff off the beaten track (visit cafes, shops, and go for some walks that are not quintessentially "touristy" but I knew she would enjoy or needed to see).
Seeing our parents age is tough. I know being with your dad sometimes requires you to arm yourself with patience you didn't know you had. The fact he's not always very nice makes it even tougher so I don't envy your position. As our parents become older, they start behaving more and more like children, and the roles are reversed as we have to "keep them in check" 😂 I am sending you, your dad and all your family all my positive energy and good vibes 💪🏻
I'm glad you enjoyed the song! And thanks so much again for your kind words and for being here. Means a lot.
Ah Andy, touching and tears at the same time. From experience, the journey is different for everyone yet the same. Your mom is well loved and supported, as are you, so hold on to that.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m really glad this resonated with you. Thank you for reading, for your kind words and for being here!!
Beautifully written, Andy. I understand some of what you're going through as my wife's memory has become progressively decimated with each of her strokes. I focus on "amor et hilaritus."
Thank you, Matt! I can only imagine. Lots of strength and positive vibes for her and you. I love the motto you focus on. Thanks so much for reading and for being here!
Sending the same to you and your mum, Andy!
Muchas gracias... te quiero mucho!
Yo también!! ♥️