In Vinyl We Trust

A vinyl lover downloads Spotify for the first time and survives the ordeal to tell the tale

Photo by COSMOH LOVE on Unsplash

A couple of months ago, I downloaded Spotify for the first time.

I’m a 35-year-old music lover based in London. Like many of you, I own a computer and a smartphone. There’s no punch line other than yes, I’ve managed to stay off Spotify all these years.

If you’re new here, I should perhaps clarify I listen to music predominantly from my record collection.

Purely out of habit, my default streaming platform has always been Apple Music, which I use sporadically whilst on the move or to discover new titles.

I needed full access to Spotify for a specific event.

My verdict? Bloody hell. It’s a mess.

As soon as I open it, I’m bombarded with a whirlwind of nonsense I don’t need, didn’t pay for, and couldn’t care less about.

There’s so much going on. All at the same time.

The user interface is terrible. Clunky. You search for an album and get a barrage of other stuff. It makes me want to toss my phone out of the window.

Photo by Laura Rivera on Unsplash

I don’t mean to sound condescending. I don’t want to be a party pooper. I am fully aware I’m the odd one out here. But guys, is this really what you have been using? Paying for?

Hi, could I have the chicken breast and some still water, please? No ice or lemon.

Would you like to try one of today’s specials?

No, thanks. Just the chicken and still water, please.

You’ve been here before, haven’t you? I think you would enjoy some ice and lemon.

No, thank you.

Some sparkling water instead, perhaps? We also have a selection of smoothies if you prefer…

It’s a constant bombardment of suggestions and recommendations from someone who, understandly, is trying to do their job, but does an even greater job at annoying the hell out of me in the process.

I don’t want to try anything new today, thank you. All I want is for you to please shut up, give me access to your library as you promised when I signed up, and let me choose by myself.

Is this too much to ask?

Photo by Nsey Benajah on Unsplash

Of course I knew there would be a catch, but bear with me. One thing is to know. It’s a whole other thing to experience it in the flesh.

All this constant nudging makes me want to put my phone on airplane mode, lock myself up in a dark room and spin my records one by one. Uninterrupted and alone.

Let’s not even get into the details of how much the platform pays artists, which I understand is on the low end of the market. Not to mention the sound quality of some of their heavily compressed tracks.

Apple Music has issues, but it’s a walk in the park in comparison. The navigation is a lot smoother. Sound quality is better. You get suggestions, yes. But it’s a lot less hysterical. And there are some other streaming platforms out there which I hear are a million times better.

Above all, though, my exasperation with Spotify has made me appreciate even more the small daily pleasures of listening to music the old-fashioned way.

Choosing a record. Placing it on my turntable. Dropping the needle. Letting the music overtake me.

No frills. No extras. No middleman.

I’m talking about basic things like deciding what I want to listen to. The silence of my turntable on standby while I pick my next spin. Unaided.

Photo by Vo Quoc on Unsplash

I’m sure there are ways to feel more in control once you get the hang of the app, but you can imagine I won’t be using it much, if at all. I don’t want learn how to trick a system I fundamentally disagree with.

If this resonates with you, put a record on. If the algorithm demons knock on your door, just crank up the volume.

And while you’re at it, try to focus on the space between you and your turntable. Really feel that space as the music blasts through your speakers.

The algorithm demons have already taken over so much space in our lives. But that little space, my friends, is sacred. They can’t get in there. They can’t control it.

Not if we don’t let them.

Thanks for reading/listening. Happy spinning!